6 Reasons You Should Not Read the ‘My Life’ Books

I’m pleased to present this guest post by the star of the My Life books, Tom Weekly. Thanks Tom.

6 Reasons You Should Not Read the My Life Books

1. They’re full of dum stuff.

2. They tell more stories about Stella Holling, the girl who’s always trying to kiss me – and kissing girls is weird and sick and wrong.

Illustrations by Gus Gordon.

3. They feature freaky body parts. (I don’t know why I thought it was a good idea to write stories about my freaky four-toed foot, my big fat hairy birthmark and my appendix being ripped out of my body, but I did.)

4. Reading is good for you. Teachers and parents love it when you read, because it makes you smart, and then you’ll get a good job and make lots of money and become famous and contribute to society. Which means that, when you read, parents and teachers are winning. Which means that you are losing, so you should not read in order to become more dum, and then you win. Ha!

5. My Life & Other Stuff I Made Up has a story about my nan and Jack’s nan fighting in a back-alley brawl. It has the second-most disgusting end to a story in the history of children’s literature. (The grossest is the story about Brent Bunder’s sore in My Life & Other Stuff That Went Wrong.)

6. You should be reading nourishing stuff, like Dickens and Shakespeare and Emily Brontë, not the ravings of a dum kid like me, who can’t even spell ‘dum’.


NB: There are several more reasons not to read the My Life books in the back of My Life & Other Exploding Chickens but I don’t recommend you read them, because that would involve reading a My Life book. (See points 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 and 6 above.)

Yours sincerely,

Tom.

Follow:

6 Comments

  1. April 7, 2016 / 12:06 am

    Rosary School Story Brainstorm – Runaway Car
    Hits a tree – Ruby
    Locked doors – Gabriella
    Hits best friend's car –
    Nan farts in car before she gets out
    Throws flying pig out window. It hits him
    Almost escapes but pants stuck to car
    Nan has made enemies on way up hill so they cheer as car goes downhill
    Intersection
    Sunroof escape
    Car explodes – Nick

  2. Anonymous
    April 7, 2016 / 1:01 am

    Rosary school brainstorm- Runaway Car
    The car slides on a banana peel and then he goes onto a race track and he went past the finish line and won the race-Boris

  3. Anonymous
    April 7, 2016 / 1:01 am

    Rosary school brainstorm- Runaway Car
    The car slides on a banana peel and then he goes onto a race track and he went past the finish line and won the race-Boris

  4. April 8, 2016 / 5:10 am

    Boris – Love it. Nice twist. Every comedy book needs a banana peel. Look out for your name in back of book and keep using your imagination! T

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *